Weird Bodies

It’s amazing how quickly a pendulum can swing.  It’s been nine days since my operation and I am feeling pretty good, but I would be lying if I said that these past few days have been easy.  Overall, I am grateful that my healing is progressing and that I have had no cause to return to the hospital — and these are huge graces! — but my emotions and my comfort levels have been rather extreme.

First the good news: I am feeling a lot better.  I have not taken any pain medicine since Tuesday and I am coping quite well with the liquid diet.  Moreover, I have lost ten pounds since the surgery without feeling hunger and I have renewed hope for the future.  I am a lucky lady.  However, I must admit that my recovery has not been a bed of roses.  I find myself lurking quite a bit on the obestityhelp.com boards and I can’t help but wonder why my experience seems to have been somewhat more difficult and more painful than that of others.  I suppose we are all individuals, but why have I had so much more pain?  I am covered in bruises, my staples itch, I get tired very easily and my emotions can sometimes get the better of me.  It hurts when I bend over, and my insides feel as though they are probably as bruised as my outsides.  I have a sensitive stomach, although I am pleased that the voiding of blood seems to have stopped.  Moreover, despite becoming easily tired during the day, I am having trouble sleeping at night.  My body is definitely rebelling.  Oh well, I know that it will get better.  The odd thing is how few people seem to complain of any pains at all once they eave the hospital.  I wonder if my experience is different from the norm or if, perhaps, most people prefer to keep their trials private and share only their joys?  People are weird; bodies are weirder.

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About afwc

I am a 30-something woman who has been struggling with weight issues since my marriage in 1999.
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3 Responses to Weird Bodies

  1. MacMadame says:

    I felt like my recovery was harder than normal too. But it was still pretty easy compared to other surgeries I had and I was very happy most of the time. But I was on the pain meds longer than a lot of people and, unlike the people who boasted about going back to work 4 days after surgery, I felt like I wish I had taken longer.

    • afwc says:

      It’s funny; I was saying to my husband last night that I felt as thought my vital organs and possibly my ribs were bruised. He took my hand and reminded me that someone had just pierced holes in my abdomen and “got stabby.” Yeah, that would hurt. I don’t need to be a hero; I just need to take it one day at a time and recover.

  2. iam1sweetp says:

    I am with MacMadame. I know now that I should have taken longer. I was trying to minimize my discomfort and silence my thoughts by occupying myself with work after only a couple of weeks post-op (I had an open bypass). I landed myself I nice little infection and prolonged pain.

    The other thing to keep in mind is how big this is in your life – it is completely consuming your every waking moment. It’s that whole out of sight, out of mind thing. You still have all of the physical traces of your surgery, so even when you start to drift to a different topic of thought or discussion, you look down and see the aftermath of your surgery. Pretty soon after looking down, you remember…the pain or discomfort and how tired you are. I could barely take a shower without feeling like I was going to pass out.

    You are still getting used to your new body. Be patient with her! She will come around and be wonderful!!!

    What I found crazy is this…I am used to my body. I know what to eat and what to stay away from (doesn’t mean I always listen). I know how to push myself in exercise and sport. What I still have not been able to do is this…..get used to my new body, my new size. I still see my plus sized image of the past when I look at myself. I still pull bigger clothes off of the clothing racks in the stores.

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